DARFUR IS DYING
AYITI: THE COST OF LIFE
~ Marsha, Web Content/Community Manager
Q: Before I had children, I was always very firm with the thought that I would never let my child play with toys that had anything to do with violence. Now that I am a parent, I see that it's not as easy as I thought. I am still resolute that I do not want my son playing with toys like that (He's only 2 now, but they grow up fast!). However, some people don’t think it's such a big deal to let him play with pirates wielding swords, action figures that might have weapons, etc. They’ve said that they played with toys like that and played "Army" and things of that sort when they were children and didn’t turn out to be violent.
I see boys in the neighborhood running around "play fighting" and things like that and I know that my son will be exposed to this type of play whether we allow such toys in our house or not. I'm looking for some insight and thoughts from other parents who have struggled with this issue with their own children, or from others who have seen children playing with such toys and how it affected them.
It seems hypocritical to try to raise a child to be a humane, peace-loving person while at the same time allowing play with violent-natured toys. Yet, on the other hand, I wonder if making such things taboo would only make children more interested in them. What is the fascination with these kinds of toys anyway?
~ Stephanie, IHE M.Ed. graduate
A: This is a tough one, Stephanie, and I can sympathize. I did not allow any toy guns in the house when my
Which leads me to believe that forbidding toy weapons makes them more coveted and appealing, and that, in truth, they don’t hold all that much interest after a certain point.
But the deeper question, why do they want them, is really important. We can't pretend that we, as a species, are just acculturated to be drawn toward violence - it's too much part of our history and our species to think that this is just something our societies perpetuate. We're both predators and prey after all, with a million years of evolution in our blood that make us both altruistic and compassionate, as well as protective and territorial. We know how to fight, and we know how to negotiate. We're complicated. Swords offer children a sense of power and nobility and the chance to play out their fears and be chivalrous, not just hostile.
Forbidding guns doesn't stop the impulse. I remember my husband being more concerned that if we had a daughter she'd want to play with Barbie dolls. Well, I loved my Barbies and I turned into a feminist just as my husband loved guns as a kid and turned into a gentle, compassionate man.
As a kid at camp, I LOVED riflery. Just loved it. Wanted to go to the camp I went to because they had riflery. I never wanted to shoot anyone, but I loved shooting targets. I don't know why really. A sense of accomplishment, gaining a skill, the idea of it, the discipline, the challenge.
These questions go to the core of who we are as humans. We can try to deny our impulses and our children's impulses, but where does that get us? The key in life is to choose kindness, compassion, honesty, generosity and integrity over cruelty, apathy, deception, greed and laziness; we have the capacity to manifest all of these and much more, but if your son is drawn to sword play, can you help him to use his sword to protect others? And if you choose not to allow any weapons of any sort, be prepared to reconsider as he gets older. In the spirit of openness, engage in dialogue about it; find out what's important to him.
~ Zoe, IHE President
Image courtesy of shermee.
Monday was Columbus Day, and this year, as in generations before, elementary schools all across the
These two events led me to thinking about three things as a humane educator. First, it’s ever-more urgent that we provide people with a more complete picture of issues to help them make the most humane choices possible. More people are starting to mark Columbus Day as “Indigenous People’s Day” or as “Genocide Day,” to acknowledge the slavery and genocide of Native people that occurred after Chris set foot on the “new world.” How many children would still want to celebrate the “discovery of
Second, for those things that are facts, we need to be sure to know the facts and to get them right. I’ve lost count of the number of times in my earlier years that, when talking with someone about the “evils” of something or other, when the person started to ask in-depth questions, I realized I didn’t know as much about the issue as I thought. It was enough for me to learn the basics about an issue -- the connection between chocolate and slavery, the cruelty of factory farming, the enormous impact of consumer behavior – to inspire me to change my habits. I didn’t need to know the “gory details.” Some people do, so it’s important that we know them and know them well. It’s also essential that the facts we share are accurate. Stretch the truth, mislead, or misremember – even just a little – and our credibility evaporates forever.
It’s also important to get clear on what’s indeed a fact and what’s a belief or perspective. As activist Laura Moretti said, “That’s the nice thing about beliefs. Just because you’ve put your faith in them doesn’t make them true.” The things that happen to factory farmed animals are facts; the amount of pollution that’s released into our air and water and food and earth is a factual amount (whatever amount that is); that children, men and women are being forced into slavery all over the world is a fact; that more teenage girls are signing up for breast enhancements is a fact. That all those things are WRONG is a belief.
As gut-wrenchingly difficult as it can be, it’s important that we know our facts, get them right, share our own beliefs, and not try to tell people how they must live. We can inform and empower people so that they can make choices that are best for their lives…though it may not always be the choice we wish they would make.
~ Marsha, Web Content & Community Manager
Image courtesy of: dbking.
P.S. It wasn’t until I was a student with IHE that I really learned details about the different “versions” of history. If you’re interested in exploring more for your own education, or want to pursue sharing with students about different perspectives in history, you might find these sample resources useful:
The
Rethinking Schools has created a book for educators called Rethinking Columbus that deals with this subject. It offers ”resources for teaching about the impact of the arrival of
In her book Black Ants & Buddhists: Thinking Critically and Teaching Differently in the Primary Grades, Mary Cowhey offers a description of how she has explored with her second graders the issue of
History Reenvisioned:
Three books (among many) that explore different perspectives in American history from those most kids and adults are taught are: Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong by James W. Loewen (2007 ed.), A People’s History of the
Focused on “our societal and environmental global crisis and the urgent need for justice,” the event will also include “primitive skills, scenic hikes, art, earth and reflection workshops as well as an atlatl competition.”
Parker is most well-known for his book The Courage to Teach: Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher's Life, which is one of the required reading titles for IHE’s M.Ed. and HECP programs.